After years several years of barely scraping by, surviving loose contract after shaky commission, it seems that the chickens have finally come to roost here at MME records.
I'm excited to share this news, as, my folks seem to have held the impression that I've been sitting around doing nothing but making "stupid videos". Their lack of enthusiasm for my entrepreneurial aspirations is understandable - they've been financing my frugal lifestyle for the last several years during the times when I've found myself out of a job...which probably seems more often than not.
Well, it's not my "stupid videos" that are responsible for my recent elevation in financial standing, but instead a concerted effort to position myself as a key middle manager in the sphere of online advertising, and am now privvy to a broad span of internet business avenues and opportunities.
It all started as an innocent networking experiment of MY OWN DESIGN (not one of those bogus offers from the cheesy Google ads!); little did I expect that the venture would take off so rapidly, and never would I have predicted that I'd see such phenomenal returns on my time investment in such short order. Never before in my life have I earned dollars at such a rate! Currently I'm averaging only about $300 / day (which is more than I've ever made), but once interest rates begin to rise (as they soon should), that amount could double or triple given my plan for prudent, and staggered divestment of capital. I won't go into further detail for fear of inciting too much competition early in the game, but I will say that if these positive trends continue, in only two years, I'll never have to work a day in my life ever again! I would attribute my superior skills in strategic money manipulation to the hundreds of hours spent perfecting my strategy for world domination playing the computer games "Civilization II & III)"
I guess $300 / day probably doesn't seem like that much for many of you out there...I mean, isn't the average wage in Canada $20 / hour? How much is that, about $55,000 / year? Considering however that I have no mortgage payment, no car, no girlfriend, no kids, and no credit cards, $300 / day, or a little over $100k / year, is a rather princely sum, wouldn't you agree? No more resorting to rerolling cigar stubs and eating nothing but oatmeal all day! Still, I am not so self-assured that I neglect to imagine the possibility that everything could all come to a crashing halt...much like raging economic situations often do.
Well, back to the drawing board..Oh, and speaking of stupid videos, I finally uploaded a new one. Sorry for the delay, I was just feeling a bit less than confident about myself these past few weeks. In this video, I attempt to perform a song by Tim Hardin called "Reason to Believe" on my friend Jimmy's rickety old piano. Enjoy!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Wow! Post # 80!
Overlooking Queen Victoria's Golf Course in Edmonton's downtown 'core', situated on the southwest edge of the city's commercial center, before the concrete and asphalt give way to the steep brushy embankments cusping Victoria's greens and fairways winding through the lush river valley below, is Grant Knotley Park. A visage of old philanthropic Knotley himself, eternally mindful, awaits amidst the contoured benches for the next curious visitor to read about his achievements as they're engraved upon the interpretive plaque set into the monument beneath his bronzed (I think) chin. There's nothing like encountering an interpretive plaque along the path of your travels to add informative and elucidating tidbits of knowledge to your otherwise pleasantly quaint stroll through Edmonton's many parks. Ah well, my own mind is a theme park, folks! Read on and share in my enthusiasm!
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Real Estate Agency Website Geared Toward Seven Year Olds
I spend a good deal of time sifting through all manner of articles and media on the web throughout the course of any given day - a You Tube video, a news piece, a blog page. Rarely will I bother spending any time on a corporate website as the information is of course biased, and the integrity lacking, and they're too often rife with bizarre, unrelated flashy sequences (kind of like my videos) and redundant navigation controls.
Now, I can understand a commercial website wanting to cater to the lowest common denominator when advertising their product, but this is ridiculous! At first glance, you might think that RE/MAX has abandoned real estate altogether in favour of selling doll houses or LEGO mansions full time.
Even presuming that I were naive enough to even consider purchasing property here in Edmonton at its current ridiculously hyper-inflated price, I still think I would find this website insulting to my intelligence.
Now, I can understand a commercial website wanting to cater to the lowest common denominator when advertising their product, but this is ridiculous! At first glance, you might think that RE/MAX has abandoned real estate altogether in favour of selling doll houses or LEGO mansions full time.
Even presuming that I were naive enough to even consider purchasing property here in Edmonton at its current ridiculously hyper-inflated price, I still think I would find this website insulting to my intelligence.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Cannot Help Myself (Before & After)
Now, I'm not much of a photography guy, but sometimes I'll run across a picture of a mate on one of the various social networking sites and think, "Hey, I could improve upon that!"
One of my first followers since becoming a twitter tweeter, was a fellow by the name of Anthony Lauderdale. Turns out that he has a pretty slick blog which he updates with elucidating tidbits throughout the day. From a numbers perspective, he's obviously doing something right, but upon scrutinizing his picture (something I do more than I care...well there, I admitted it) I couldn't help but think, "Man, that could be better!"
I felt that the bright blue sleeve was far too prominent, and attracted attention away from Mr. Lauderdale himself.
Here's my augmentation of the photo. I think it looks a-way cooler!
Now you can see the pinstripes! Computer magic! Hope you like it Anthony!
One of my first followers since becoming a twitter tweeter, was a fellow by the name of Anthony Lauderdale. Turns out that he has a pretty slick blog which he updates with elucidating tidbits throughout the day. From a numbers perspective, he's obviously doing something right, but upon scrutinizing his picture (something I do more than I care...well there, I admitted it) I couldn't help but think, "Man, that could be better!"
I felt that the bright blue sleeve was far too prominent, and attracted attention away from Mr. Lauderdale himself.
Here's my augmentation of the photo. I think it looks a-way cooler!
Now you can see the pinstripes! Computer magic! Hope you like it Anthony!
The community of Grandin in Edmonton, Alberta
The neighborhood in which I reside is only a block from Jasper Avenue, the main drag through Edmonton's downtown, so it's to be expected that miscreants and na'er do wells are never too far away; you never know what sort of trouble may await right around the corner. Somehow though, with it's nineteenth century Catholic Church, elementary school, and numerous apartments catering exclusively to senior citizens, the community of Grandin somehow eschews troublemakers and sees nary a shade of the violence and crime so rampant only a few blocks to the north.
Having lived in Grandin for about four years now, I'm beginning to feel a sense of attachment and feel fortunate to be able to call such a pleasant and well situated community my home. I'm no more than three blocks away from groceries, entertainment, parliament, and the underground train station is a one minute walk from my door.
The other day, I escorted a lady friend of mine to the Grandin train station. As is often the case, there was a lone drunken hangabout in the stairwell, who seemed fairly sedate. I waited with her on one of the landings of the final flight of steps to the train concourse until her train arrived, and bid her farewell.
In leaving the station, I decided to take the elevator to avoid the loiterer my lady friend and I had passed moments ago. As the elevator doors opened, I was about to stride in as I was not expecting the lift to be occupied. Upon seeing an occupant about to disembark, I gregariously stepped backward to provide him some room, and gestured approvingly for him to exit with a wave of my arms in a respectful manner - as is customary for a gentleman to do. Most decent folks would say something like, "good evening", "thank you, or nod and smile.
Now, If I'm in a good mood, I almost always make the effort to extend courtesies to strangers I happen to meet while out and about amongst the public; I'll offer a smile and a nod, and love to greet people and their dogs when they're out for a walk. Old ladies often warmly smile at me as I pass. That's the kind of guy I am.
Well this piece of horseshit getting off of the elevator, in spite of my courteous gesture to allow him to exit the lift before I entered said, "Get the fuck out of my face" along with a few other less than kind words. He was very menacing and threatened me with violence. He was still shouting as the elevator doors shut, and he really got my adrenaline going. What if I were an old lady, just returning home from a game of crib or something? He might have given someone with a lesser constitution a heart attack! As the lift brought me back to ground level, I couldn't help but feel angry about the whole thing.
The aggressor was a head shorter than me, and a few dozen pounds lighter. I keep thinking how I should have pulled him back into the elevator, out of the way of surveillance, and worked him up and down the cubicle until his eyes crossed. That's what he deserves for ruining my good mood. Perhaps the next time he's at Grandin Station the miserable cretin will reconsider before he decides to be a fuckbag piece of shit in my hood.
Maybe it's time that like minded young people make the safety and security of public spaces our business. We don't need ill-willed drunken, drug addled douchebags littering Grandin's streets, needlessly intimidating the students and the elderly. If the city is incapable of funneling enough resources into security for our public transit, then perhaps it's time for a little vigilante justice to send a message through their rat-eaten grapevine that these scumbag pieces of shit aren't welcome here. Of course we'd use every measure of diplomacy imaginable to first persuede them to leave of their own volition, but be on the ready to make them wish they'd chosen a different locale to putrify if they demonstrate anything less than a reasonable disposition.
Having lived in Grandin for about four years now, I'm beginning to feel a sense of attachment and feel fortunate to be able to call such a pleasant and well situated community my home. I'm no more than three blocks away from groceries, entertainment, parliament, and the underground train station is a one minute walk from my door.
The other day, I escorted a lady friend of mine to the Grandin train station. As is often the case, there was a lone drunken hangabout in the stairwell, who seemed fairly sedate. I waited with her on one of the landings of the final flight of steps to the train concourse until her train arrived, and bid her farewell.
In leaving the station, I decided to take the elevator to avoid the loiterer my lady friend and I had passed moments ago. As the elevator doors opened, I was about to stride in as I was not expecting the lift to be occupied. Upon seeing an occupant about to disembark, I gregariously stepped backward to provide him some room, and gestured approvingly for him to exit with a wave of my arms in a respectful manner - as is customary for a gentleman to do. Most decent folks would say something like, "good evening", "thank you, or nod and smile.
Now, If I'm in a good mood, I almost always make the effort to extend courtesies to strangers I happen to meet while out and about amongst the public; I'll offer a smile and a nod, and love to greet people and their dogs when they're out for a walk. Old ladies often warmly smile at me as I pass. That's the kind of guy I am.
Well this piece of horseshit getting off of the elevator, in spite of my courteous gesture to allow him to exit the lift before I entered said, "Get the fuck out of my face" along with a few other less than kind words. He was very menacing and threatened me with violence. He was still shouting as the elevator doors shut, and he really got my adrenaline going. What if I were an old lady, just returning home from a game of crib or something? He might have given someone with a lesser constitution a heart attack! As the lift brought me back to ground level, I couldn't help but feel angry about the whole thing.
The aggressor was a head shorter than me, and a few dozen pounds lighter. I keep thinking how I should have pulled him back into the elevator, out of the way of surveillance, and worked him up and down the cubicle until his eyes crossed. That's what he deserves for ruining my good mood. Perhaps the next time he's at Grandin Station the miserable cretin will reconsider before he decides to be a fuckbag piece of shit in my hood.
Maybe it's time that like minded young people make the safety and security of public spaces our business. We don't need ill-willed drunken, drug addled douchebags littering Grandin's streets, needlessly intimidating the students and the elderly. If the city is incapable of funneling enough resources into security for our public transit, then perhaps it's time for a little vigilante justice to send a message through their rat-eaten grapevine that these scumbag pieces of shit aren't welcome here. Of course we'd use every measure of diplomacy imaginable to first persuede them to leave of their own volition, but be on the ready to make them wish they'd chosen a different locale to putrify if they demonstrate anything less than a reasonable disposition.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Improved "Ant Lander" Design
With this design revampment I propose that the Nuclear Ant Lander is more carefully lowered to the surface rather than dropped like a lawn dart as the shock of impact in the former design would likely be catastrophic - for both the ants and the structural integrity of their interplanetary nursary.
To provide the ant colony with access to the surface, a special flux material will be released, heated by the landing rocket thrusters during descent. The flux will spill out and around the base of the craft, and harden in the cool martian environs, forming (hopefully) an air tight seal between the ant ship, and the martian soil surrounding it. High speed drills will then slowly bore as deep as possible beneath the surface of the "red planet", allowing the ants into the martian soil.
As before, elements stored in pressurized cylinders will be intermittantly released in appropriate ratios into the airtight void above the ant colony.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Ants on Mars
Had this idea to send a probe to Mars (or maybe one of Saturn's Moons) containing very special cargo.
On the left is a basic sketch of the main components. Basically it's three equidistant pressurized spheres, each containing different elements, chiefly Nitrogen, Oxygen, and Water (The "H" in the drawing should be an "O").
The Teardrop is detailed in the rough sketch below.
The idea being that the probe would impact the Martian soil like a lawn dart. The tip would then open allowing the ants access beneath the surface of the planet. Climactic / atmospheric control would be provided by periodically injecting combinations of pressurized elements into a low pressure mixing chamber resting atop the thriving ant colony.
Other chambers would be present to release small amounts of fungal spores, bacteria, and maybe ant approved protein pellets. Solar windows would heat the mixture, and a solar panel would provide power to the computer controlled pressure regulators.
Ideally it would be planted within range of the Mars Rover so that the results might be observed.
Is this at all plausible? Entirely ridiculous? I invite your feedback!
Other chambers would be present to release small amounts of fungal spores, bacteria, and maybe ant approved protein pellets. Solar windows would heat the mixture, and a solar panel would provide power to the computer controlled pressure regulators.
Ideally it would be planted within range of the Mars Rover so that the results might be observed.
Is this at all plausible? Entirely ridiculous? I invite your feedback!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)