Piss Test! An Indignant Response...

DRUGSCREEN

So you’ve come to ask of me,

A sample of my pee-

For you to tell if I’ve been smoking weed?

A sample jar you hand-out,

To ensure that I don’t stand-out,

In response I offer this indignant creed:

I don’t piss for the Czar,

I won’t piss for a movie star,

I won’t piss in a bottle or a cup!

When I piss,

I stand-up of course;

To whip my thing out,

And piss-out like a racehorse!

I would not piss for the Queen,

You think I’ll do it for a drug-screen?

Give your head a shake, you pseudo-righteous slob!

If my employment’s contingent,

On draining through my ligament,

Then you can keep your offer for this job!

I don’t piss for the Czar,

I won’t piss out a moving car,  

I try my best to not piss in the alleyway.

Not even for payment,

Would I piss for a stranger,

Like those bladder bags you hired-up this morning!

You’re demand stinks of urine,

I decline it on principle,

So thanks, but no thanks… I’ll look elsewhere.

B.R. Mathews

© 2013-01-29