Friday, April 13, 2012


Snoop through the drawers. No one can see you.

Editorial

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Pedagogy and Pitchforks - Pretense in the Public Education Institution and Provincial Politics in Alberta.

I invite you to watch this rather bold and surprisingly elegant             Hochtaler commercial I was exposed to in the early eighties...
(sing)
...and this is true, my Dear!
This song's been looping,
for two decades -
around my mind once clear.

As for the wine itself, the mere mention of Hochtaler only conjures images in my mind of pale yellow cardboard cartons concealing foil bladders sporting a stubby plastic pee spout that pokes out the bottom of the box.

As for the public education system, I say enough with the wasteful bureaucracy and let Canada return to the one room schoolhouse model. Two or three students from each of the twelve grades inhabiting one classroom at the same time. Two or three top teachers. A big chalkboard and maybe a globe. Reference books and ink wells. A woodstove in the corner. Perhaps even a few chickens and rabbits in the back.

All these simple and effective things we've traded-in for asbestos insulation behind overhead flourescent lighting, glossy markerboards with their shitty dry-erase felt tips instead of beautiful chalk and slate, stacks of relatively obsolete laser disc players and reels of crumby films collect dust in the corner of one of the many store rooms brimming with obsolete junk from the last two decades. The type stuff only a whacked-out artist or gonzo engineer would consider hoarding.

Oh how scarce are those beautiful creatures, the teachers with lovely voices fervorously reciting literary greats... or hammering out some folk tunes every Friday on the upright. Oh no, that sort of thing has no place in our corporatocratic vision of learning. No, in the 21st century we need to install Wi-Fi in every classroom. We need vending machines and supply chains. We can't teach our kids a few basic lessons without security cameras, cafeterias, photocopiers, and corporate partnerships. Point being, it's getting pretty fucking expensive to "educate", and in some instances "innoculate" the kids.

Kids are getting fatter and more defiant. Why not make the mere act of just GETTING to school half the battle again? Every single kid walks to class every single day to the big schoolhouse at the top of the hill behind the church.

Let us quit wasting money on a bloated public school system administered by flocks of headless chickens.

My home province of Alberta is having a provincial election very soon and I'm tempted to start dangling proverbial pitchforks within reach of the combatants, I tell you. Isn't a good old fashioned lynch-mob what the people really want to see happen in the end anyway? Entertainment for the masses? Opposing camps angrily forking one another to fully impress their own supreme agendas? Bloodsport. That's what all you broke losers want, isn't it? In any regard, it's a relief to see that Alberta is still home to at least a dozen different provincial parties vying for seats in the legislature including:
Alberta Party
Social CreditParty
New Democratic Party
Communist Party
Progressive Conservatives
Marijuana Party
Liberal Party
Wildrose Alliance
Green Party

Way to democratize, citizens of Alberta. While I mostly support the platforms of both the Alberta Romance Party and the Bully Big Oil Baron Party, I'll likely vote for the Grassroots Magic Party this time round.



all manner of public opinion. From the most eloquent and graceful submissions to the vilest of chattle tripe, I'd like to be the first to witness the unfolding, blossoming, and decomposing of our ideas over time.
ISSUE 1 FRIDAY April 6 2002


I think every UPS driver should have a standard issue rifle and optional sidearm.
Proud Prophet Productions

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